Mail Order Bride
All dumb ugly men have dreams…This is one of them
If I had
A mail-order bride
She’d cook me pancakes
While I was sleeping off my high
And she’d be lovely
She’d be at the wash and dry
Folding my laundry
While I was drinking with the guys
She’ll never complain
Or holler
She’ll only cost me
Four hundred dollars
When I’m hung over
She’ll call me in sick
Give me a hummer
And climb on my dick
And when it’s over
She’ll rub me down with Vicks
She’ll do what I’ll say
Or she’ll know she’ll get the stick
She’ll cook grilled cheese
And fish sticks
She’ll pay all my bills
She won’t speak English
She won’t smell like
A sewer
Every night
I will do her
Yeah I want
A mail-order bride
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